Things I Am Not Allowed To Do On The Titanic
by Kittens In The Closet
Summary: Got the idea from some other fandoms. Title explains it : Doing this for fun.
1. Chapter One

Things I Am NOT Allowed To Do On The Titanic

1.I will not show any passengers, fictional or historical versions of the Titanic movies.  
2. I will not ask Lovejoy if he wants to play hide and seek with Jack and Rose.  
3. I will not bring Jack fangirls on the ship and start a stampede.  
4. I will not give Celine Dion a ticket on the Titanic.  
5. I will not call Jack Leo by mistake.  
6. I will not influence Rose or Jack to make choices that make them meet on the first day on the ship.  
7. I will not bring My Heart Will Go On sheet music onto the ship and ask the band to play it.  
8. I will not poke Lovejoy and wait for how long it takes for him to snap at me.  
9. I will not call Rose any of the following: Lavender, Tulip, Geranium, Sunflower or Poppy, to annoy her.  
10. I will not introduce anyone on the Titanic to the following: Tumblr, Facebook, Youtube, and Twitter.  
11. I will not throw Rose into the sea thinking that she is Ariel the Little Mermaid.  
12. I will not walk around the ship playing the Titanic soundtrack.  
13. I will not call the passengers by the name of the actor/actress that played them in the 1997 movie.  
14. I will not chain Rose into a lifeboat so Jack may have a chance of finding the board.  
15. I will not listen into conversations regarding the ship's speed.  
16. I will not start a petition for the ship to slow down and force people to sign it.  
17. I will not dare tell Bruce Ismay about the ships in present time.  
18. I will not pretend to be a Mary Sue and try to make an officer fall in love with me.  
19. I will not boast about the things on cruise ships today.  
20. I will not attempt to start a karaoke competition at one of the dinners on board.  
21. I will not give Cal eyeliner as a present.  
22. I will not follow Jack and Rose around the ship with a chair and a box of popcorn.  
23. I will not sit down at dinner and shout "WHERE'S THE FRIES?"  
24. I will not ask band leader Wallace Hartley if he knows any Charlie Daniels tunes. Or Metallica for that matter.  
25. I will not sit in a lifeboat reading a copy of 'Twenty Thousand Leagues Under The Sea' by Jules Verne, and when a passerby asks why, respond by shrugging and saying I'm 'prepping.'  
26. I will not walk into the Second-Class Library, pull out a copy of Futility by Morgan Robertson, flip through it and exclaim "AHA! That's how this ends!" Before turning around and walking out.  
27. I will not make crass and/or childish remarks about the 'poop deck.'  
28. I will not point out the stupidity of the Electric Baths.  
29. I will not stick my head into the radio room and ask Jack Phillips "Hey, can you pick up a jazz station on that set? Those guys with the violins are bringing everyone down." During the sinking.  
30. I will not ask Thomas Andrews how many beer cans were recycled to build the ship.  
31. I will not snicker at dinner when the waiter asks me if I want ice with my drink.  
32. I will not hum 'Under the Sea' while strolling along the deck.  
33. I will not hide in a lifeboat and then shout loudly during the sinking "HA! I knew these would come in handy."  
34. I will not swipe items from Titanic to sell on eBay.  
35. I will not walk into the Second Class Library and exclaim loudly "Is there WiFi in here?"

36. I will not borrow Futility by Morgan Robertson from the library, read it on the deck and loudly state that Titan and Titanic sound the same and perhaps this is tempting fate.  
37. I will not stand on Titanic's bow and yell out 'I'm the king of the world!'  
38. I will also not put my arms out and pretend I'm flying.  
39. I will not attempt to convince Thomas Andrews to jump ship at Queenstown.  
40. I will not fill the squash court with zucchini.

**A/N: I'm putting these all together to make that chapters longer. 24- 31 by Nutzkie, 34 36-38 by classicmovielover, 39 by CataylynMJ88, 40 by Nutzkie. All the rest by me. **


	2. Chapter 2

4I. I will not accidentally call the Marconi Room the Macaroni Room.  
42. When I spot Wilde, Murdoch or Moody, I will not burst into tears and plead them to go on a lifeboat if the ship does sink.  
43. I will not show the officers all the brilliant Crazy Officers stories.  
44. I will not make fun of Archibald Butt's name.  
45. Upon seeing 'Plymouth Harbour' I will not mutter under my breath 'I knew A Night To Remember had it wrong!'  
46. I will not place copies of the April 15th New York Times in obvious places.  
47. I will not take Father Brown's camera.  
48. I will not exclaim loudly that I have a sinking feeling.

**A/N: 42, 44, 45, 46 and 47 by the brillaint classicmovielover. This chapter will be expanded as I thin of more suggestions or if more rules are sent on PM.**


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